I could write a novel about my wedding, because it wasn’t just a single event on a single day. The events spanned several days, but the preparation took over a year and the wrap-up is still going on two weeks afterward and will continue until i’ve penned my final thank-you note. I have a lot of advice to give to brides-to-be and i’ll be posting it in installments for the next couple of months, but to kick it all off i have a recap and one bit of wisdom: if your wedding is anything like mine, nothing will go as planned. But it’ll be completely wonderful anyway.
Nathan and i both stayed home the night before, because while a lot of couples spend the night before apart to make it more “special,” i think i would have simply passed out at some point if the day had been any more special than it already was. He’s my security blanket through this thing, and i needed to be with him. I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night but Nathan—as per usual—slept like a baby. (Although, why does that phrase even mean what it does? Babies sleep in short bursts and wake fitfully, don’t they? At least that’s what i hear!)
In the morning we gathered up everything from jewelry to vows to the borrowed microphone and headed to Sticks for the setup. Nathan set up our computer (i.e. the DJ) and rearranged tables while i wrote every guest’s name on the chalkboard for the seating chart. Yep, i did that. Not everyone followed it and as it turned out not everyone who was on the board was present, and not everyone who was present was on the board. But people LOVED it. I’ve gotten more compliments on my seating chart than any other aspect of the wedding (except perhaps for my dress). It took me probably a couple of hours to do just because i was distracted and jittery and a little bit of a perfectionist.
The flowers arrived and i noticed that they weren’t exactly what i had wanted, but there was no real reason to fuss about it. I fashioned a long black bow for my bouquet and called it good. Then Kelly took me to my hair & makeup appointment. Kelly is a professional bridesmaid, and was good at telling me that everything was going to be okay as i bounced nervously in my chair. Oh, and did i mention that it was rainy? It had been raining lightly all morning and we watched the sky with anticipation, hoping that it would clear up by showtime. Nathan was in charge of deciding whether to hold the ceremony outdoors or indoors. After i had made the aesthetician redo my eyelashes three times and my appointment was finally over, Kelly took me to Subway but i couldn’t eat anything, despite having had nothing more than half a pastry and a small cup of coffee for breakfast that morning at Sticks.
Back at Sticks again i started trying to relax a little bit before the big moment. I had a few bites of Kelly’s sandwich and held a banana that she gave to me (but couldn’t eat it). Amanda was there taking photos of my dress. The cake was being assembled. The baker noticed that the floral topper wasn’t what i had planned on and she did what she could to make it a little more drape-y and less of a ball. She was amazed by how pretty Sticks looked with everything set up the way it was, and by how calm i seemed. I didn’t feel terribly calm, though.
The weather had cleared up enough that we would be able to have the ceremony outside. This is the one major thing that we had hoped for and that did actually go according to plan. The bridesmaids donned their dresses and i caught a glimpse of Nathan suiting up in his tux, which made me swoon. I waited until my mom & sister arrived to put my fabulous dress on, which they helped me with. Finally it was time to go. Everyone left except for my sister, whom i was extremely glad to have assigned at the last minute the duty of carrying my train. My dad came to get us, and we were on our way.
It’s so weird standing up there, getting married. I thought i would cry through the whole thing but i just beamed up until the guitarist performed our song (which we were all hearing for the very first time), and then finally i cried a little. I felt so nervous and strange, but looking at Nathan it all felt very right, too. When we kissed it really did feel like a first kiss; i had never kissed my husband before, and that’s exactly what it felt like.
From there things started to blur. We signed our papers while the guests unexpectedly formed an aisle toward the getaway car. We went around to greet each guest rather than having them come to us in a receiving line. My brother managed to dole out the white rose petals for the guests to throw (despite the fact that they had arrived in two large containers rather than nice bundles). We went back down the aisle through a shower of petals, made our getaway in Nathan’s car, and Amanda followed us to take our pictures at Greenwood Park. I hadn’t been able to freshen up my hair or makeup beforehand, but luckily the pictures turned out gorgeous anyway.
Back at Sticks we took some quick portraits with the families outside and then made our grand entrance. We cut the cake (an event which a lot of people missed, unfortunately) and got our dinners. Somehow the playlist i had made for the cocktail hour and dinner had been overlooked and at one point while i was eating, Bodies by The Smashing Pumpkins started to play (“love is suicide!”), but my hero husband went and put the playlist on before anyone else noticed. The food was delicious (although it was not as good as what we’d been served at our tasting), but i still had very little appetite. I couldn’t even finish my slice of delightful almond cake.
I hadn’t anticipated the toasts at all. I thought the best man would give a long toast and that might be the end of it, but instead he gave a short toast, and then they just kept coming. I can’t remember the order, but Kelly, Nina, Tim, Amy, Dustin, Elizabeth and my dad all said beautiful, sweet things. I don’t at all deserve all the glowing remarks that my siblings made; i’m nowhere near as intelligent, kind nor talented as they think i am but i’m grateful to at least be so remarkable in their eyes. Most people noted how happy Nathan and i are together, and that much i was able to affirm when i took the microphone. All else that i could manage to say was “thank you all so much.”
Photo by Mark Cecconi
And then we danced! Nathan and i had created our own playlist, incorporating a few requests that we had gotten before the wedding day. For the most part i had chosen obscure music that only a few of my closest friends wanted to dance to with me, but i had a blast anyway. Bad Romance was a big hit, and i think we played a Prince song that went over well, too. I didn’t really leave the dance floor until the end of the night, and unfortunately that meant that i never even got to say goodbye to half of the guests when they left. As the last few were catching their shuttles i went outside and saw the beautiful lanterns in the tree and the tiki torches along the walkway, and it all felt so magical. Then we cleaned up and went home.
I never even got very intoxicated and could only stomach the cheap beer, but our guests were kind enough to take care of almost all of the wine for us, as well as every last microbrew (and then some). It was a great party, and although it ended pretty early (before midnight) i thought it worked out just fine. I’m so grateful for every last guest who was there—even the ones i’d never met before and also the handful who couldn’t make it. And i’m so thankful that my immediate family was all there. I adore them. And of course i feel deeply, inexpressibly grateful to be married now to the most wonderful man i’ve ever known. What could be more worthy and more perfect than that?
(All photos by Amanda Basteen unless otherwise noted)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011 5:43 pm • wedding
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June 16th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
This is my favorite wedding post EVER except for the fact that it almost made me cry, so for which: GRR.
Firstly: your wedding WAS magical. Truly. And I speak on authority.
Secondly: I also loved your chalkboard seating chart. I never would have thought of it and it was beautiful and ingenious at the same time.
Thirdly (oh lord, here we go, I’m numbering things): every time I hear the phrase “sleep like a baby” I always cringe. BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY THREE HOURS AND SCREAM THEIR HEADS OFF. Personally, that is NOT how I want to sleep. Nor, I’m sure, is that how my neighbors want me to sleep.
Fourthly: I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you brush your hair and tried to make you eat things. Except not really. Because your hair stayed curly and you didn’t pass out, so really, I win. Although I was quite amused at the fact that you never ate the banana. I wasn’t aware of that. Hee.
Fifthly: the cake was beautiful. I feel like a LOT of people miss the cake cutting at EVERY wedding. The problem is that people have started doing it right at the beginning (mostly so they can get it photographed before their photographer leaves) and yet while I’ve noticed this trend, nobody else seems to, so nobody is prepared. Like, my sister? We did the entrance and then they pretty much beelined for the cake. I don’t know. It’s a thing now. Early cake cuttings. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.
Sixthly (yes, we’re still doing this, I am committed now): I LOVED the venue, I don’t know how you managed to find it/think of it/stumble across it, but it was PERFECT.
Seventhly (oh, screw it, this is the last one, I’m not keeping this up)… cheesy as it sounds, I loved your paragraph on how it actually FELT to be getting married. For some reason, I’ve never heard anyone actually try to describe it, and yet, I think you captured exactly what I feel like it would be like.
I’m so glad we were able to have the wedding outside, it was so perfect under the tree, and the getaway with the petals and just everything. It was all breathtaking and wonderful and I’m so happy I could be there. I can’t wait to hear your bride-to-be tips. I mean, not that I’m in a place where I can use them, but someone has to blaze the trail.
June 16th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
*cough* I’m sorry that was such a long comment.
June 17th, 2011 at 8:38 am
Thanks for the comment(s) Kelly, and thank you for not letting me brush my hair. I didn’t realize that it was not nearly as solid that day as it had been after my trial run. Once i did brush it it was pretty much as straight as it normally is.
I did eat the banana the next day, i believe. So it did not go to waste.
Thanks for making me eat, i’m sure fainting at the altar (if you can call it that) would have been a little embarrassing.
July 1st, 2011 at 8:27 am
your wedding looks magical. i love that photo by the tree. seriously. perfect. congrats and you are beautiful!